Monday, December 31, 2007
Searching for the Red
As Iwamoto snapped photos, the rest of us struck up conversation with two volunteers as they marked up forms. I was shocked when the round-faced fellow told us that Giuliani’s office was the only (italic) conservative station in the city.
“Romney and Huckabee are focusing on Western Iowa, where the conservatives are,” he said. “You’ll find it’s a bit more left-leaning out in here, in the east.”
In the background, one volunteer muttered “awwwwk-ward” as she put down the phone, punctuating his point.
While our group has plans to check out Huckabee tomorrow, and hopefully Romney the following day, I’m disappointed with the lack of visible conservatives so far. Perhaps the silent majority is in full effect out here, or maybe everyone is too busy watching the Bowls to bother with this political shit (even though the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones are almost as shitty as the Rams). Even our excursion into a military surplus store this afternoon, one awash in “redneck and proud of it” gear, was managed by liberal-leaning mothers. There is a disturbing lack of Ron Paul in this landscape; I was saddened to read that the blimp’s floating above fucking Florida. YouTube videos of that grey creeper do not do my eyes justice.
I’m left to wonder if we’ll be lucky enough to hit a nice red splotch in this bluish territory we have pushed into; hopefully Huckabee’s presence in Cedar Rapids tomorrow will bring me a right-winger. As for tonight, the New Year brings new hopes and new surprises: The youth of the Rudy office seem to know Iowa City hotspots better than anyone else we’ve spoken with. We don’t know if these young locals know what’s up when it comes to getting down in this city, but I remain optimistic.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Our deserved caucus
The interview with the Ron Paul supporter went well, so Hedge says, but I have a feeling the bar excursion to Biggs was much more interesting. Biggs is a low-key establishment, generally quiet with exception to the jukebox lined with CCR tunes. The place had more plasma TVs than staff. This was a special event for me.
We sat at a high table with the anonymous staffer of the anonymous candidate (we’ll call him Skyler) who didn’t mind sharing his experience and insight with his younger peers.
Basically, Skyler has seen a shift from a normal, proud American life to a constant of 16-hour labor days for his candidate.
Once settled deep into the central cortex, politics can force the best and the brightest into harsh squatter-lives where they find themselves with few but their fellow junkies as chums, but when that’s only in the early stages of the game. Once this season rolls into gear, then those companions drift deliberately.
Skyler’s addiction is solely responsible for his recent life shift; you can tell by his jacket that his salary is jack-squat. And should Skyler’s candidate drop out of the race, well, it’s hard to tell where he’d go. Maybe back to his beloved home. Or, perhaps for the wiser, he’ll try to sneak into the winning candidate’s campaign headquarters, become absorbed into the fold, forgetting all about the man (or woman) whom he had been so dedicated to prior. This latter option won’t be the case, or so Skyler pledges. He’s got his candidate, and he backs him.
Besides, he’s too far in the muck now. His dues have been paid (hours spent in the call centers) and now he’s got a decent paying gig. Things are going his way as far as the internal affairs go, and he loves what he’s doing.
Like every other staffer that’s palavering around Iowa, Skyler is in it to win it. Living in the area for the past nine months has established insight in him, and he is happy to share it with us.
But I’m not quite ready to hear what he has to say. I don’t want him to tell me that he thinks Iowa deserves that first-in-the-nation caucus, which he does. What makes me so frustrated is that he has prepared a lengthy and compelling argument as to why this slice of “Cornhole USA” deserves first place each and every time.
Iowa is one half agricultural, one half urban; one half Republican, and one half Democrat, respectively. What makes this mixture boil is the caucus-going Iowan. Skyler says that these folk are a special breed when it comes to the political arena. It is conceivable. These people have been exposed to a thick storm of national attention every four years for their entire lives, and when this torrent peaks, it’ll stretch for as long as it can manage. Skyler estimates the average Iowan being bombarded with 300-400 political advertisements a day during the season. Any given man or woman, he suggests, actually gives a shit about the candidates, and is finely tuned to the questions of a candidate’s stances and character, unafraid to ask questions. From the little television we have watched, saturated with such ads, his point seems legit. The autistic TV enthusiast of this state is likely to know more about the current issues than your regular Nebraskan. The all-too-familiar faces of Huckabee, Romney, Clinton, and Richardson are emitted from the plasmas with a radial glow.
I seem to remember Obama wearing a cowboy hat as he stared down at me with his smile and waving hand. I felt ashamed, staring back at this blatantly false portrayal, especially with Skyler looking on.
“He’s too inexperienced,” he says.
I admit, I have developed something of a disgusting adulation of the senator, whose sincere image makes me doubt he holds any hidden evil. Any objectivity I had left in the discussion had been completely shed by this point.
“But what is so important about experience?” I ask, and then foolishly open myself to attack: “Are you worried he won’t be able to make the right choices when called upon?”
Skyler nods as he sips of his black whisky mix (I can’t recall what he was drinking exactly). “He needs more time.”
From there, he adds that heavy fundraisers, like Obama, would dominate the election if it weren’t for Iowa. The presidency would be won with TV ads, and the equation is too simple: more money = more TV time = more recognition. Here in Iowa, or so Skyler says, issues are examined more thoroughly in the caucus.
Whether Skyler’s argument holds true has yet to be determined. Sure, the man has sauntered around the state for the past nine months while we have barely gotten our feet wet, but it shouldn’t be too difficult to notice the cultural differences once we move eastward in the upcoming afternoon.
-E.M.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
The journey to Council Bluffs
The Collegian road crew pulled out of Fort Collins a little behind schedule. OK, maybe more than just a little.
At 11:19 a.m., two hours behind schedule, we pulled off from the newsroom in Erik Myers' Sienna, glassy-eyed, but full of the excitement only the start of the true election season can bring.
We hit the highway about 15 minutes later, and the timing could not have been more perfect. Erik Myers' mix CD plays AC/DC's “Highway to Hell,” and it seems fitting. (OK, it was planned, but it was still cool).
Exchanging one-liners and banter about the newsroom that would never be acceptable in mixed company, Nebraska crept up before we knew it.
“I've never been to Nebraska before,” Dave said as we crossed the Wyoming-Nebraska border.
“Well you're in for a fucking treat,” Erik Myers said, navigating the Sienna across the barren plains of the Great American Desert. Boy, was he right.
After our first gas station stop, we learned two things: 1) Junk food on a road trip is amazing, and 2) Nebraskans don't appreciate profanity.
The rest of the drive across Nebraska was much like the state itself – long and boring.
The only highlight came when Dave, noticed a slumbering Aaron Hedge and convinced Erik to pull the old “slam-on-the-brakes-and-scream-as-if-we-all-are-going-to-die” trick. It was hilarious.
At about 8 p.m., we reached Council Bluffs and pulled into the hotel. After Aaron checked in the “two guests” for our room at the Day's Inn, he and Erik led the rest of us and our luggage (mostly Brandon's) to our accommodations for the night.
Tonight, Aaron is going to meet with a Ron Paul supporter and a friend of Erik's is introducing the crew to all that Council Bluffs, the place Nebraskans go to sin, has to offer.
Let's hope we don't get in too much trouble tonight.
-S.R.
Prelude
I think:
What the hell are you doing
You think you’re something original, something funny? Wow a college road trip to strange new territory who cares if it’s been done a million times before in books/movies/TV because you’re something special but really you’re not
You’re a stupid college student who has signed himself up for six or so days with four assholes who are just as dumb as you and if you really think you know what you’re in for then prepare to meet the unsmiling backhand of reality
They don’t take kindly to your kind out there they’ll string you up the moment you make your first slipup
But this is just my own stream-of-consciousness. I do my best not to pay it attention, because Iowa won’t be anything like that; it’ll be a fun, once-in-a-lifetime experience shared by four respectable, enthusiastic, hard working, young men who are determined to make the absolute most out of the trip.
This isn’t work, this is adventure! Stuff like this that pulled me into newswriting, and by god, I have to make the most of it. I’m going to write like crazy and take risks and branch out and have fun. It’s hard to imagine this trip being anything but awesome, something I’ll always remember no matter how tough things might get to be out there.
There’s little to report outside of this early anxiety. Frankly, there’s little time available to write, as I’ve put off packing up to the last minute. Everyone plans on bringing necessities: recorders, batteries, lots of pens and paper, music and other unmentionable objects that we simply cannot do without. Clothes and hygiene products are important too, if I plan on talking with anyone out there.
There’s also car preparation to consider. We’ll be traveling in my 2001 Sienna, and while it’s ready for roads both long and icy, there’s still the matter of cleaning it up, so my companions won’t think less of me. No one, not even college-aged adults, appreciate a filthy car.
We leave at 9:00 a.m. from Dave and Sean’s house, and then its on to I-25 with AC/DC blaring from the speakers. Hedge and I have plans to meet up with various politicos down in Council Bluffs tonight, but from there on, it looks like we will all be improvising.
I only hope I’ll get to see the Ron Paul blimp.
-E.M.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Bhutto assassination heats up race
The front-runners in both parties issued statements decrying the assassination and some spoke publicly about their personal relationships with Bhutto, who was the first female leader of an Islamic state and removed from her position in 1999 in a military coup.
Hillary Clinton demonstrated her personal relationship, which has been called the closest one of all the presidential candidates, with somber condolences to the Bhutto family and Bhutto’s idealistic Pakistan People’s Party.
And some candidates were accused by news organizations and political strategists of receiving campaign boosts from the assassination, as each of them –– sans Chris Dodd and Fred Thompson –– released strong statements that outlined how they will handle the unraveling international crisis if elected president.
John McCain became the man of the hour in Iowa, citing his long political resume and the fact the Rudy “Giuliani has never been to Iraq.”
Mike Huckabee, lending a hand the border security cause, said the desperate situation perfectly illustrates the need for a Mexico border fence.
The politicians’ political game, played today on the desperate fight between Islamic militants and the PPP, has become a big weapon in the fight for votes, downplaying what is probably the most significant international crisis since 9/11.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Candidates face bad primary timing
In what my esteemed colleague cleverly coined the "Overprotective Boyfriend Act," the Republican and Democratic parties decided to hold their Iowa presidential caucuses in conflict with the holiday season and the Orange Bowl in what some call bad timing.
Maybe there is merit to their allegations – maybe American voters are more likely to sleep in from their holiday shopping hangover and not do their homework for the most intensely combative political event in 36 years and then abandon their caucus to watch the Orange Bowl (what is that again?).
But I would like to think that Iowans will be slightly more concerned with their country’s future than with the triviality of holiday shopping and watching athletes compete in bright shirts 1,000 miles away.
But the revamped timing of the caucus poses a more real problem for the candidates – especially the underdogs – for future state elections, however.
New Hampshire was forced by a desire to keep its status as the premier primary state in the country and state mandate to push its nomination date up to Jan. 8. New Hampshire legislation requires that the state hold it’s primary at least a week prior to any other state.
But the majority of primary states planned their elections on Jan. 15, making the Jan. 8 the last day New Hampshire could keep their top spot.
So as the presidential candidates have focused their campaign energies on impressing their prized Iowa voters over the past months, they will hardly have time to regroup in the five days after the Iowa caucuses and aim at issues that matter to New Englanders.
And candidates who will not place in the top three slots in Iowa will have to figure out what they did wrong in Iowa and reconfigure their entire campaigns, even though what they may have doing wrong in Iowa could be just what the doctor ordered in New Hampshire.
Thank God for the poll cushion.
But the front runners also face their own set of challenges.
On the Republican side, Mike Huckabee recently took an unprecedented lead in Iowa, running on the conservative fuel of his vehemently proclaimed religious convictions and hunting savvy-ness, while Mitt Romney is head of the pack in New Hampshire, playing the low-tax card.
For the Democrats, Hillary Clinton just lost top pick in Iowa and, more recently, New Hampshire, to Barack Obama as this last bad week was highlighted with vague positions on issues, according to NH lawyers who say her campaign has "no clear message."
And the sleeping giant who no one seems to pay attention to, John Edwards, is quickly and quietly catching up with the top dogs who are constantly at one another’s throats.
Obama gained even more support in Iowa today as he dispelled the rumor of his alleged faith-without-action technique, when he left his podium at a public appearance and hugged a voter who pleaded for better health care for war veterans.
So as the front runners are juggled from first place to second place to up in the air, they lose momentum in New Hampshire while underdogs, especially in the Republican Party, find solace in New Hampshire’s and other states' ignored prominence.
The convoluted nature of this competition between states is sure to put immense pressure on the candidates as the most confusing and diverse election since the founding of our country unravels.
-A.H
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Tancredo Rolls Out

Tancredo has gone on to say that he had little intention of actually running for president but just wanted to pressure other GOPers to address illegal immigration, claiming to have gotten the ball rolling. This is a pretty broad claim, considering that the federal government had been dabbling in immigration reform since 2005. But it’s hard to deny that, as Tom said, his peers have been working to “Out-Tancredo Tancredo”: attacks on fellow candidates regarding the issue have stepped up in the winter months, McCain, Huckabee, and Romney making particularly soft targets.
So what’s next for Tom, as he’s not returning to his congressional seat? A quiet retirement to the foothills? Or maybe a comfortable executive position on an education board somewhere in the Springs? Perhaps he’ll pick up his rifle and walkie-talkie and take to the border, dispensing justice one 7mm at a time. With a number of possibilities abound, don’t be surprised if the congressman makes a surprise dash for Colorado’s empty Senate seat in 2008.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Our precious caucus

You could say so, judging by the creepy obsession states across the country hold towards their primary election activities.
First, we see a full month shift in timelines for primaries when 22 states pushed their primaries from early-March “Super Tuesday” to “Super-Duper Tuesday” on February 5th.
Democrat parties in Michigan and Florida were slapped in the face when they got too close to the objects of their desires, reaching out a few weeks beyond the limits, and they're still going ahead with their mid-January primaries.
Meanwhile, Iowa puts on the overprotective boyfriend act, clinging so tightly to the one thing that makes its existence worthwhile.
The state has been the first to hold its caucuses since 1972, and both Iowa’s GOP and Democrat parties have bitterly clung to their first-in-the-nation spot, as exemplified this election season.
Giving Iowa the starting bell makes some sense: the state has a history of swinging between parties when it comes to the final election, and there’s a long-standing small town charm that Iowa conveys beautifully. When I think of Iowa, I imagine the grinning 61-year-old truck driver sipping on some coffee at an old-fashioned diner, his corn-loaded Semi sitting in the parking lot.
I’d say Iowa would like to escape that image; that’s why they so badly cling to these caucuses. Lord knows the Hawkeyes and the Cyclones won’t be bringing in a BCS National Championship anytime in the next three decades. Iowans need something to be proud of, I suppose.
Like Iowa, New Mexico has developed a reputation as a “middle-of-the-road” state when it comes to politics. They too are chock-full of small aimless town and old people. If that weren’t enough, remember that they are a border state, which just screams present-day relevance; 10% of the population is (probably) illegal immigrants!
It’s time for the torch to be passed. Someone else deserves that attention, and the American public ought to have a more diverse representation in their early election activities.
Monday, December 10, 2007
WELCOME
Greetings from your Rocky Mountain Collegian's Iowa Crew!
Pay attention: Above, you can see Mike Gravel, ex-senator and current nominee for President of the United States of America. Much like Gravel, we five at The Collegian look to, in a proverbial sense, “throw the rock into the lake.” We’re here to stir things up, make some ripples. Though we, like the good yet decrepit ex-senator, might just be a spot in the floating fortress that is Iowa in early January, we’re just another weird speck that’ll be worth watching for at least someone.
Weird is the buzzword of this year’s election; truly, there has been no election as bizarre as the one we are witnessing right now. Seriously; come next year we could have a woman, an African-American, or even a Mormon as our great leader. Just let that settle for a bit, and realize that those candidates are front runners in their parties, meaning they’ve got a pretty good shot. Then remember that YouTube AND Univision hosted presidential debates.
And frighteningly enough, there’s much more to watch in these strange times.
The hottest boy on the nominee block, Mike Huckabee, is as radical a Christian as he is a guitarist.
It's been reported that the tough guy, Chris Dodd, was last seen smiling in the early 1990s. The man has the biggest jowls in the race, and will likely do his share of flexing when he starts talking about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and how he isn't that bad of a guy.
The class clown, Dennis Kucinich, has seen UFOs, but still wants to take away our guns. And, in a long time first for a candidate, his wife is actually kind of hot.
And as hard as he may try, Kucinich will never out odd the sensitive one, the die-hard libertarian (whose heart is literally 5% gold) known as Dr. Ron Paul. He’s fighting the war on the War on Terror alongside the war on the War on Drugs. Conspiracy theorist or not, the fine doctor just might surprise everyone and snatch a first place spot in Iowa, a charge fueled by a million YouTube videos.
Yes, 2008 will be the year of the weird, and the Collegian’s Iowa Crew plans to do little but bring it to your computer monitor, with updates every day, starting December 30th!
Stay tuned, all you students, faculty, and unemployed 45-year-olds! We here at The Collegian are here to serve you!